A Tail of Two Cats

Cat Hunt
You'll need to have your kitten or cat following you the whole time throughout this quest. Equip your catspeak amulet and start the quest by talking to Unferth, who can be found in east Burthorpe in the house south of Dunstan. After starting, talk to Hild in the nearby house northeast of Unferth. She will enchant your catspeak amulet if you give her five death runes. You can now open it to find Bob's location. It works somewhat like a compass - when facing north, use the controls to move the interface and point it in the right direction. When you see the central cat's eyes light up, go in that direction to find Bob. He can be anywhere in RuneScape.

List of Locations:
 * Anvils in Varrock
 * Port Sarim docks (near quest marker)
 * Catherby archery shop
 * Draynor Manor
 * Wise Old Man's house
 * Farm South of Falador
 * Edmond's House in East Ardougne
 * Chicken Farm North of Lumbridge (east of river)
 * White Knights' Castle
 * Rising Sun Inn
 * Outside the White Knights' Castle Moat (Northeast)
 * White Wolf Mountain (Southeast)
 * North wall of the Warrior's Guild
 * Near Seer's village bank

Strong Lineage
After finding Bob, talk to him. He will tell you that he's in love with Neite, but she has no idea what his origins are so she's not interested in him. Talk to Gertrude about Bob's family. She will tell you to research a warrior called Robert the Strong.

In the Varrock Palace library, talk to Reldo. He will tell you that Robert the Strong was much taller and stronger than any other man of his time. His longbow was six feet tall, and he fought immortal monsters known as the Dragonkin. He fought alongside a black panther.

Return to Bob. You and your cat will try to convince Bob he is Robert the Strong. Your cat will remind you of how the Sphinx knows how you were hypnotised, so perhaps it can hypnotise Bob.

Hidden memories
Talk to the Sphinx in Sophanem (southeast of pyramid). Ask her for help, and after a bit, you'll have the option to view a 5 minute cutscene or get a brief summary of what happens. If you choose the brief summary, you won't be offered the option of being teleported to Burthorpe.

During the cutscene, the Sphinx will teleport Bob to Sophanem and hypnotise him. Bob, thinking back on his earliest memories, recalls himself as Robert the Strong. He sees himself looking over at a tower beside Odysseus, followed by a battle between them and a dragonkin; the dragonkin manages to slay the panther and weaken Robert, but is killed by an immensely powerful attack by him.

After the cutscene, the Sphinx teleports Neite to Bob, who will be impressed and fall in love with him. Bob will tell you to keep his owner busy by doing his chores, and you will be given the option to teleport back to Burthorpe, or stay in Sophanem.

Bob's List
Go back to Unferth's house in Burthorpe and do these chores:
 * Tidy house: Make Unferth's bed. This takes one click and is the easiest chore.
 * Warm human: Use some logs on the fireplace and light it.
 * Feed human: Use a bucket of milk and a chocolate cake on the table. Right click your cake! Do not eat it.
 * Tidy human: Use a pair of shears on Unferth to shave his hair. Note: the animation takes a couple of seconds, do not click away until he is bald.
 * Tend garden: Weed Unferth's patch in the yard just north of the house and plant four potato seeds. You now need to wait about 25 – 35 minutes for them to grow. If this is the only remaining chore, you will be alerted by your character or your cat/kitten saying all the chores are finished.

After you've done all of this, talk to Unferth again. He'll tell you that he's very ill and must see a doctor or a nurse. Talk to the Apothecary in Varrock (Located in the southwest of the city). He will tell you that Unferth is a hypochondriac - he thinks that he's sick all the time even though he really has been tested for illnesses and it's all in his head. You need to use the placebo effect on him - pick a doctor's hat or nurse's hat from the Apothecary, and wear some white robes (Princess robes don't work).

Go back to Unferth's house and give him a vial of water. His illness will clear up. Note: You can't be wielding a weapon/shield otherwise Unferth won't believe you.

Love-cats
Using your catspeak amulet, find Bob again and talk to him. He may have moved to another of the other locations mentioned above, or even in the same location as before. You'll see a cutscene showing all the adventures Bob takes Neite on, including a magic carpet ride in Sophanem, a conversation between Bob and the King Black Dragon (a player spoof known as R4ng3rNo0b889 also tries to attack the dragon, but the dragon kills him instantly), and a journey on the fishing trawler ship.

Warning: If at any time during the cutscene, you try to interact with the surroundings (i.e. trying to pick up the bones of the dead ranger), you will be sent back to Burthorpe and you'll have to find Bob again and start the cutscene over.

After the cutscene, talk to Unferth to get a present from Bob.

Reward

 * 2 Quest points
 * 2,500 experience in 2 skills of your choice over 30, or 5000 experience in one skill.
 * A Doctor or nurse's hat (you can switch by destroying your hat and requesting a new one from the Apothecary)
 * A Mouse toy (functions as a fun weapon at the Duel Arena)

Trivia

 * The name of the quest "A Tail of Two Cats" is a reference to the Charles Dickens novel, "A Tale of Two Cities".
 * When you first speak to Bob he says "Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind. And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." It is spoken by Helena to Lysander in Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Night's Dream."
 * One of the scenes in the second cutscene shows a spoof scene of the film Titanic, Bob is standing on the bow of the ship and says: "I'm king of Runescape".
 * You can find a recipe for the chocolate cake if you search the bookcase while doing the chores in Unferth's house.
 * During the cutscene with the Sphinx, Bob says "Hey, I'm just this cat, you know." This is likely a reference to the character Gag Halfrunt in Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy.
 * Upon examining the potato plants in Unferth's house, it says "You say Potato,I say Poh-tar-to". This is a reference to a 1937 film "Shall We Dance"