Another Slice of H.A.M.

Excavation
Speak to Ur-Tag or Ambassador Alvijar to start the quest. They can be found by going to the northern part of the city, climbing up the stairs, then heading east to the house with a Quest start icon. They will explain they are making a train route between Keldagrim and Dorgesh-Kaan.

(If you've done the quest The Digsite, you'll mention you've passed your digsite exam.)

Go South-west of the city on the same floor until you find a transportation sign on the minimap. Go through the doorway and you will end up in a train station. Walk down the south track and talk to Tegdak, who will give you a trowel and a specimen brush. Dig up the artefacts hidden in the floor by using the trowel on them. There are two north of the sample tables and four south. Clean all six artefacts by using an artefact on the specimen table—you will then end up with an armour shard, a hatchet head, a helmet shard, an ancient mace (Just called 'Mace' at the time), a shield fragment and a sword fragment. After cleaning those, talk to Tegdak again.

Now take Zanik with you and go to the goblin scribe in the house west of Ambassador Alvijar's house (the quest start point). (Note, the mace will not show up in your inventory) Talk to him about the symbols that are covering the mace that you found. The scribe will not be able to tell you anything about the symbols but he suggests that you go talk to the goblin generals in Goblin Village.

To the Village
Talk to Oldak. To get to him, go west from the scribe's house, into the house and then down the stairs in that house. He will teleport you to Goblin Village and will give you a sphere to teleport back to the city. If you mess up or leave the city you can go back to the tracks and get Zanik again.

Once you're in the village, talk to one of the generals and a cut scene will begin. At the end, you discover that Zanik is most likely the goblins' "chosen one" to lead them. The mace is also found to have the power of the Goblin God.



The Hambush
At the end of the cut scene, two H.A.M. members show up and start attacking the goblins with Magic and Ranged. Take the path around the back (west side) of the buildings, but stay out of the attack range. When you get to the tower, climb up the ladder and kill the H.A.M. mage and H.A.M. ranger with either mage or range. Note: The Magic-Using H.A.M. member NEVER splashes, no matter what armour you wear.

You can simply fight the two foes, or take time by clicking Hide-behind Crate. Hiding will make players unable to be attacked, but unable to attack as well. The mage and ranger will hit at the same time, so using protection prayers can only reduce damage. For this part, it is recommended that you wear dragonhide or other armour with good magic and ranged defence bonuses. Please note that Ava's accumulator/ attractor will not work for your expended arrows, and since you cannot retrieve them after the battle, it is not recommended to use expensive arrows. Note that there are 50 bronze bolts as well as a crossbow by the crates which you could pick up and use.

When you have done this, there will be another short cut scene where Zanik is kidnapped by Sigmund. The goblin generals will tell you they are sending two sergeants to help you and that you should meet them at the Lumbridge Swamp Caves. They will also give you the ancient goblin mace(If you lose the mace, you can buy it from the Generals Bentnoze and Wartface for 1,000 coins).

Getting Past the Guards
Sigmund plans to kill Zanik on the train tracks between Keldagrim and Dorgesh-Kaan, making it look like an accident so that war will break out between the dwarves and the goblins. You cannot enter through the Dorgesh-Kaan entrance this time, so you must go to the swamp cave entrance and meet the goblin warriors who will be helping you.

Now go to the Lumbridge swamp and talk to the goblin sergeants, Sergeant Slimetoes and Sergeant Mossfists. They should be near the entrance to the Lumbridge Swamp Caves (make sure you have your light source for this part).

The following part is extremely difficult, and will take a lot of patience. It is not dangerous, just difficult.

Climb down the entrance to the caves, and next to the rope should be another ladder. Go down it and you will briefly see a H.A.M. guard before he runs away to get reinforcements. Now quickly run down the hallway and talk to the goblins. Tell one to wait behind, and go into the room off to the east side, hiding while the guards run past. Go down by the boxes and get one more guard to come out. Tell the second goblin to wait there, and go back to the room. Then, go past them toward the ladder, but run back when the final guard starts coming, and make sure he sees the goblin and you're home free.

An alternative method is to quickly run towards the first three guards, which will start following you at a relatively safe distance. You should then head back to the goblins which will engage in a fight with the guards. With the guards distracted, it is now safe to go as near as you want to them. For the fourth guard, get into his line of sight, proceed by going on the other side of the goblin "wall" which Slimetoes and Mossfists have created for you. The goblins will then intercept the fourth H.A.M. member, clearing the hallway for passage.

Another method is to hide in the closet while the first two guards pass. Then walk out and hide behind boxes, and while another guard comes walk toward the final guard, and he will head toward the goblins, and you are now safe. During this entire part in the tunnel make sure you aren't seen by any guards that are not attacking a goblin or you will be sent back to the swamp and have to start this section over again. Eventually you will get all the way down the hallway to the ladder at the other end.

A third method is to quickly hide behind the middle box in the row while the guard is still calling for reinforcements, the goblins will hide in the boxes behind you. When the guards pass by, step out and make sure the goblins are following you before running to the ladder, letting them deal with the last guard.

Note: If a guard does see you quickly run to the goblins before he gets near you.

Another Sigmund Showdown


At the bottom you find Sigmund. Use ANY method of attack, and he will set his prayer on (according to your choice of attack). Now wield the ancient mace and use Special attack to drain his prayer (requires full power). After that resume the fight. Now he will get hit, but he also seems to have a high defence. Low levels be warned. If you attempt to untie Zanik whilst the fight is in progress, you will be hit for around 100 life points of damage.



The End
When he is defeated, he will teleport away. Untie Zanik, and get ready to watch the final cut scene to finish the quest.

Reward

 * 1 Quest point
 * 3000 Experience
 * 3000 Experience
 * 1 Dorgesh-kaan sphere
 * Ancient goblin mace
 * Ability to buy Goblin Village teleport orbs
 * Free access to the Dorgesh-Kaan - Keldagrim Train System

Music unlocked

 * Ham and Seek
 * Ham Attack
 * Slice of Silent Movie
 * Slice of Station

Required for Completing
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 * [[Land of the Goblins|Land of the Goblins

Trivia

 * Sigmund ties Zanik to a railway track. This is a classic scenario from old silent films and cartoons, such as The Perils of Pauline and Charlie Chaplin films from the 1920s (hence the music in this scene: Slice of Silent Movie).
 * The quest page had a different spoiler message on the first day of release. Instead of the usual message it said: Stop! H.A.M. time! No spoilers for you, this day. This refers to "Stop! (one-beat pause) Hammertime!" from the song "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer.
 * During the H.A.M. ambush if a player uses the nearby crossbow and takes cover to dodge attacks the battle becomes similar to light gun games, particularly, the Time Crisis Series.
 * On the first day that this quest was released, when one was to examine Zanik during the battle scene, the examine would say "She's kicking H.A.M. ass." Since "ass" was censored when players try to say it in-game, there were rants on the forum and within a few hours this examine was changed.
 * After the cutscene where Sigmund kidnaps Zanik, she can sometimes be seen standing next to the goblin generals although the cutscene shows her teleporting away with Sigmund
 * It seems that you hit a 430+ with the ancient mace Special attack on Sigmund because the required Prayer level to activate Protect from Melee is level 43.
 * The Dorgesh Kaan-Keldagrim train leaves every 30 seconds, making it the fastest way to get to either spot, from the other (faster than fairy rings).
 * This was the first quest to show dwarves and goblins working together. Interestingly you cannot pickpocket any goblin in the train station.
 * After the cutscene where Sigmund takes Zanik, you can see Zanik standing right next to you or behind the building. This does not happen all the time however.
 * Upon the completion of this quest, one's Adventurer's Log will read: "Sigmund tied Zanik to a railway track, but I rescued her in the nick of time! The goblin Grubfoot believes Zanik is the 'Chosen Commander'."
 * When Sigmund takes Zanik hostage he is using the classic iron longsword animation, But when you fight him at the end of the quest he is using an updated version. Jagex has not yet fixed this.
 * After Zanik was kidnapped and the generals are talking to you you can see Zanik stand behind the house where she hid.
 * There is a glitch where if you are caught while hiding behind a crate, you will be in the same position when you are thrown out of the cave.
 * There is a glitch where during the cutscene before the fight with Sigmund, if you click on him you will appear to be in the Unknown outside the train station for a second before appearing next to Sigmund.
 * If one were to climb the ladder during the cutscene with Zanik tied up, the goblins and guards won't be there.
 * When the Goblins deal damage to the guards, you are given Constitution experience, so staying in the East Room or Hiding behind a crate can give a player free experience.