The Great Brain Robbery

Beginning
Use a Charter Ship to Mos Le'Harmless or talk to Bill Teach at the eastern pier in Port Phasmatys. Near the dock you'll notice a rather sickly-looking monk named Brother Tranquility. Talk to him to begin the quest. He'll tell you about how some of his fellow monks are in a bit of trouble and ask for your help. Accept his offer to teleport you to Harmony Island.

Gathering Info
Now you need to find out more about what's going on. Take your diving gear, a hammer, some nails (10 are needed but some will be bent, so bring at least 20) and 4 planks and head outside. Zombie pirates (level 57) will attack you. A short way to the northeast you'll find a statue that can be pulled to the side. Go down the ladder and into a tunnel. It's full of water, so you'll need to use your diving gear to get under the water. Run past the zombie pirates down there and repair the stairs at the far end. Climb up them, then look through the peephole to spy on the enemy.

The Prayer Book
Go back and tell Brother Tranquility about what you heard. He'll suggest you get a book that can be used to pray away poison. Travel to the Monastery near Edgeville to find the book in a bookshelf towards the south-west corner of the building on the ground floor. It will give you instructions on how to use it. Put on a Holy symbol and head back to the island. The monks will be feeling the effects of the gas so use the prayer by right-clicking the book.

The Doctor
Now that the monks are no longer in danger of being gassed, they'd like to get their brains back in their bodies where they belong. Unfortunately, as you're all too well aware by now, you're no brain surgeon. Luckily, you know someone who is. Travel to Dr. Fenkenstrain's abode and climb up to where he's hiding out from the werewolves. After a bit of negotiation, he agrees that a new home free of the threat of being eaten sounds better than where he is. However, he doesn't want to risk being eaten while walking there, and he's allergic to teleportation, so you need to find some other way.

Head to Canifis and talk to Rufus, the owner of the meat store. (Just north of the bank). Make sure to be wearing the Ring of Charos when talking to him. He'll agree to let you use a crate, but you have to fill it yourself and he'll be checking the quality to make sure it's worth carrying in one of his boxes. Since he assumes you'll be transporting cats, you need to find a bunch of them to fill the crate and avoid suspicion.

If you have a house with a workshop that has a crafting bench in it, go there now. If not, you'll have to borrow one from a neighbor. Either way, take 10 wooden planks and 10 pieces of fur (any kind) and craft a bunch of fake wooden cats. Now travel back to Fenkenstrain's castle with the remaining 4 wood planks, nails (20 needed for crate plus 8 for bottom, but a lot will be bent so bring 50), and a hammer. When you get to the room where the Doctor is hiding out, you'll see a hotspot to build the crate. Do so, then use the extra planks of wood to build a false bottom by clicking on crate again (Add-bottom crate). Fill it with fake cats, then use the whistle Rufus gave you to call him. Fenkenstrain will automatically get in the crate. Once past inspection, Rufus will give you a shipping order. Use this on the crate and it will be teleported (... whoops!) to the island.

Making the Transplants
Now that the doctor is in, travel back to Mos'le Harmless. Make sure to grab your diving gear and a bit of armour before teleporting to the island. Now Dr. Fenkenstrain will tell you that he needs some equipment to perform the surgery. He'll give you a list of items to collect. Luckily, the bad guys already have what you need since they performed the surgery in the first place. The only problem is how to get in....

Put on your diving suit (to avoid passing out from the gas) and head north from the windmill to the ship beached nearby. Search the locker on the ground floor to get a fuse, then climb up a level and get a tinderbox and a keg of powder. With these in hand, go back to the front door of the monastery. Wedge the keg in the front door, add a fuse, then light it. Instant entrance.

Once inside, kill the Sorebones inside to get the equipment you need. Don't worry, they'll only drop as many as you need of each item if you forgot what you need, so just keep killing them until they stop dropping surgical equipment. Note that the dear doctor also requires a hammer. Walk back to the windmill, head downstairs, and give all this to Dr. Fenkenstrain to begin the gruesome surgery.

The Big Battle
Now that the monks are back where they belong, it's time to end this once and for all. Grab all the armour, food, and potions you'll need for this fight (though not a helmet or cape since you still need to wear your diving suit). Walk through the front door and the Sorebones will be gone. Only Mi-Gor will still be there, giving you the option to "confront" him. When you do, he'll sic his monstrosity on you, a giant mess of machinery named "Barrelchest". You can't use Prayer while fighting him, but luckily, he's a fairly blunt instrument. He won't use anything but melee attacks and he's fairly inaccurate. However, when he does hit, he almost always lands a 20, so be careful of that. It won't work to hide behind something and range him, either. He'll just strike the ground with his anchor, causing you 20 damage. He's not that hard to beat if you're a high enough level, though.

Once you've killed Barrelchest, pick up his anchor and walk back to the windmill to inform Brother Tranquility of your victory. He'll thank you and give you a lamp granting 5k experience in the skill of your choice. Congratulations!

Reward



 * 2 Quest points
 * Barrelchest anchor
 * Blessed lamp
 * Prayer book
 * 6000 Prayer, 3000 Crafting, and 2000 Construction experience.

Music

 * Zombiism

Tips

 * Having the Book o' piracy allows you to skip the first speech with Bill Teach in getting him to transport you to Mos Le'Harmless.
 * A Kharyll Teleport (Canifis Teleport) in your House provides faster return to Fenkenstrain's house after creating the fake cats.
 * The Charter Ships are a useful (if pricey) way to get to Mos Le'Harmless and Port Khazard.
 * Talk to the pirate at the docks of Mos Le'Harmless to convert the anchor to a two handed weapon for a fee of 230,000 coins (See above, under reward).

Trivia

 * The title of the quest is probably a reference to a 1903 movie titled "The Great Train Robbery", though there's also a book and a song by the same name. Wikipedia has several pages describing the Great Train Robbery.
 * The new RS music, Zombiism when on Harmony Island, comes from the movie The Great Train Robbery (1903 film).
 * Another Monty Python reference is hidden in the quest. When Rufus comments that the cats aren't moving, the character will comment that they're "probably pining", referring to "The Dead Parrot Sketch".
 * The Mi-Gor character and Barrelchest monster are probably references to emphysema, a fatal lung disease that leaves victims with a "barrelchest" and a scary voice.
 * This quest marks the second appearance of Elfinlocks, a fake player from the Draynor bank robbery plot, who is travelling with her clockwork cat in Canifs.