Another Slice of H.A.M.

Excavation
Speak to Ur-Tag or Ambassador Alvijar to start the quest. They can be found by going to the northern part of the city, climbing up the stairs, then heading east to the house with a Quest start icon. They will explain they are making a train route between Keldagrim and Dorgesh-Kaan. Go southwest of the city on the same floor until you find a transportation sign on the minimap. Go through the doorway and you will end up in a train station. Walk down the south track and talk to Tegdak, who will give you a trowel and a specimen brush. Dig up the artifacts (called artefacts in the quest) hidden there by using the trowel on them. Clean all six artifacts by using an artifact on the specimen table—you will then end up with an armour shard, an axe head, a helmet shard, an ancient mace, a shield fragment and a sword fragment. After cleaning those, talk to Tegdak again.

Now take Zanik with you and go to the goblin scribe in the house west of Ambassador Alvijar's house. Talk to him about the symbols that are covering the mace that you found. The scribe will not be able to tell you anything about the symbols but he suggests that you go talk to the goblin generals in Goblin Village.

To the Village
Talk to Oldak, who is down the stairs in the northwest corner of Dorgesh-Kaan. To get there, go west from the Ambassador's house, into the house and then down the ladder in that house. He will teleport you to Goblin Village and will give you a sphere to teleport back to the city. If you mess up or leave the city you can go back to the tracks and get Zanik again.

Once you're in the village, talk to one of the generals and a cut scene will begin. At the end, you discover that Zanik is most likely the goblins' "chosen one" to lead them. The mace is also found to have the power of the Goblin God.

The Hambush
At the end of the cut scene, two H.A.M. members show up and start attacking the goblins with Magic and Ranged. Take the path around the back (west side) of the buildings, but stay out of the attack range. When you get to the tower, climb up the ladder and kill the H.A.M. mage and H.A.M. ranger with either mage or range.

You can simply fight the two foes, but there's a much more Navy SEAL-like approach to it. When you climb up the ladder, click Hide-behind Crate. You're now invincible to their attacks but cannot return fire. When you're prepared, come out from behind the crates and attack the H.A.M. If things get too hot, or you need a break (or you just think taking cover is cool), click Hide-behind Crate again to stop the damage. The mage and ranger will hit at the same time, so using protection prayers can only reduce damage. For this part, it is recommended that you wear dragonhide or other armour with good magic and ranged defense bonuses.

Another way to fight is to use the above strategy, but when hiding behind the crates, click on one of the two and then once you start the attack, click on the boxes again, your attack will go through but the counterattack by the two H.A.M agents will always miss you.

When you have done this, there will be another short cut scene where Zanik is kidnapped by Sigmund. The goblin generals will tell you they are sending two seargents to help you and that you should meet them at the Lumbridge Swamp Caves. They will also give you the ancient goblin mace.

Getting Past the Guards
Sigmund plans to kill Zanik on the train tracks between Keldagrim and Dorgesh-Kaan, making it look like an accident so that war will break out between the dwarves and the goblins. You cannot enter through the Dorgesh-Kaan entrance this time, so you must go to the swamp cave entrance and meet the goblin warriors who will be helping you.

Now go and to the Lumbridge swamp and talk to the goblin sergeants, Sergeant Slimetoes and Sergeant Mossfists. They should be near the entrance to the Lumbridge Swamp Caves (make sure you have your light source for this part).

Climb down the entrance to the caves, and next to the rope should be another ladder. Go down it and you will briefly see a H.A.M. guard before he runs away to get reinforcements. Now quickly run down the hallway and talk to the goblins. Tell one to wait behind, and go into the room off to the east side, hiding while the guards run past. Go down by the boxes and get one more guard to come out. Tell the second goblin to wait there, and go back to the room. Then, go past them towards the ladder, but run back when they final guard starts coming, and make sure he sees the goblin and you're home free.

Another method is to hide in the closet while the first two guards pass. Then walk out and hide behind boxes, and while another guard comes walk toward the final guard, and he will head toward the goblins, and you are now safe. During this entire part in the tunnel make sure you aren't seen by any guards that are not attacking a goblin or you will be sent back to the swamp and have to start this section over again. Eventually you will get all the way down the hallway to the ladder at the other end.

''' An Interesting Thing to Note: When the Goblins deal damage to the guards, you are given Hitpoints Experience, so staying in the East Room or Hiding behind a crate can give a player free experience. '''

Ensure that all of the guards see the goblins, then walk past them and go down the ladder.

Another Sigmund Showdown
At the bottom you find Sigmund. Use ANY method of attack, and he will set his prayer on (according to your choice of attack). Now wield the ancient mace and use Special attack to drain his prayer (requires full power). After that resume the fight. Now he will get hit, but he also seems to have a high defence. Low levels be warned. If you attempt to untie Zanik whilst the fight is in progress, you will be hit for around 10 hitpoints of damage.

The End
When he is defeated, he will teleport away. Untie Zanik, and get ready to watch the final cut scene to finish the quest.

Reward

 * 1 Quest point
 * 3000 [[Image:Mining.gif|Mining]] experience
 * 3000 [[Image:Prayer.gif|Prayer]] experience
 * 1 Dorgesh-Kaan orb
 * Ancient goblin mace
 * Ability to buy Goblin Village teleport orbs
 * Free access to the Dorgesh-Kaan - Keldagrim Train System

Music
Music tracks unlocked:


 * Ham and Seek
 * Ham Attack
 * Slice of Silent Movie

Trivia

 * Sigmund ties Zanik to a railway track. This is a classic scenario from old silent films and cartoons, such as The Perils of Pauline and Charlie Chaplin films from the 1920s (hence the music in this scene: Slice of Silent Movie).
 * The quest page had a different spoiler message on the first day of release. Instead of the usual message it said "Stop! H.A.M. time! No spoilers for you, this day." This refers to "Stop! (one-beat pause) Hammertime!" from the song "U Can't Touch This" by MC Hammer.
 * During the H.A.M. ambush if a player uses the nearby crossbow and takes cover to dodge attacks the battle becomes similar to light gun games, particularly, the Time Crisis Series.
 * On the first day that this quest was released, when one was to examine Zanik during the battle scene, the examine would say "She's kicking H.A.M. ass." Since "ass" was censored when players try to say it in-game, there were rants on the forum and within a few hours this examine was changed. Now you can say "ass" uncensored.
 * It seems that you hit a 43+ with the ancient mace Special attack on Sigmund because the required Prayer level to activate Protect from Melee is level 43.