Forgettable Tale...

Walkthrough
After watching a Keldagrim cutscene (live players and NPCs are visible), you'll go to the Drunken Dwarf's house (he's related to the random event dwarf). He will ask you for some of the good stuff. Buy him a beer from one of the two local pubs (Just head south to the closest one). He will drink it and then tell you that he wants some of the really good stuff: Kelda brew.

You need to get four seeds to grow the hops to brew it.

Seed 1
The Drunken Dwarf should give you your first one after he asks for the kelda brew.

Seed 2
Outside the Laughing Miner pub on the east side (south of the Drunken Dwarf), you should see a Rowdy Dwarf. He will ask you for a random item. If you log out and back in again, you can tell him you don't know where to look and he will reluctanly assign you a new item, so bear this in mind and use it to your advantage.
 * Random items include


 * Acne Potion (free potion from apocethary in Varrock)
 * Anchovy pizza
 * Ashes
 * Banana
 * Bat bones
 * A Brown Toy Horsey
 * Burnt Chicken
 * Camel dung
 * Eye Patch
 * A fake beard
 * Flier
 * Red Cape
 * Studded chaps
 * Spinning plate
 * Vampire Dust
 * White Apron
 * Broken glass
 * Cabbage
 * King worm
 * Swamp tar
 * Pink Skirt
 * Amulet Mould



Seed 3
BEFORE YOU DO THIS BRING 1 COIN TO BUY THE BEER. Go to the west side pub and talk to Gauss. He will ask you to do a toast with him. Buy a beer and talk to him again to get the seed. If you watch your inventory you can quit the conversation after he gives you the seed, but before you drink the beer. However you will need an empty beer glass later, so bottoms up!

Seed 4
Go to the carts on the southeast side of town, buy a ticket to White Wolf Mountain and travel there, talk to the engineer, and take a dwarven stout off the table. Give it to him to get the seed. Alternatively, you can insist that you will just 'borrow' the seed and he will 'lend' you it.

Brewing
Once you have all four seeds, go to the west side of the palace. Ask the gardener for permission to plant kelda hops there, then go north and take the rake. Weed the garden, plant the hops, and wait 20 minutes (you must be online, unlike regular crops). If you need something to pass the time, you can talk to the gardener to get a letter. Take it to the gardener at the allotment south of Falador, then go back to Keldagrim to get two herb seeds. When you're done, pick the hop.

Go upstairs back in the bar in East Keldagrim. Use two buckets of water on the vat, then add two barley malt, and then the hop. Take the pot and ask Blandebir to fill it up with ale yeast for 25gp. Use this on the vat, then wait 20 minutes (you do not have to be online). Turn the valve and use a beer glass on the barrel. Give this to the Drunken Dwarf to learn about the boarded up tunnel.

Talk to the Conductor in the southeast end of town near that tunnel. Then talk to the director of the mining company that you joined during the Giant Dwarf quest. He will have the boards removed. Ride the cart that goes into the new tunnel.

Room 1
Search the box to get two stones. Then operate the controls and place the yellow stone on the farthest spot to the left and the green stone one spot below that. Then take the cart, search the box, and go back. Put a green stone on the far left spot, another green one spot above that, and a yellow stone at the top. Ride the cart again, search the box. Return to the start and put a yellow at the far left, another yellow one spot below that, a green one spot below that, and another green to the upper right. Ride the cart to reach the next room.

Room 2
You will be able to eavesdrop on a conversation between the Red Axe Director, Ogre Shaman, and a henchman. You will learn that the company bribed the boatman into crashing into the statue so that they could blame it on a human in the Giant Dwarf quest. Crawl across the ledge and through the hole to the third room.

Room 3
You'll be in another mine cart room, so search the box and put the green stone on the far left, a yellow one above it, and another yellow one to the right. Ride the cart and search the box, then ride back. Put a yellow stone at the far left, another yellow one spot below that, a green one below that, and another green to the right. Ride the cart, search the box, and ride back. Put a green stone on the far left, another green one spot above that, a yellow one spot above that, a green to the right and below, and a yellow to the right.

Room 4
Search and read everything to learn more about the Red Axe company and their plot. Then enter the next cave.

Room 5
You'll be in the final minecart room, so search the box and operate the controls again. Put a green stone on the far left, a green stone one above that, a yellow stone one above that, and a yellow one to the right. Ride, search, and ride back. Put a yellow stone on the far left, another yellow one below that, another yellow one below that, a green to the right, a green above that, and another green above that. Ride, search, and ride back. Then put a green stone on the far left, another green one above that, a yellow one above that, a green to the right of that, a yellow above, a green below, a yellow above, then a yellow below.

Room 6
This is the final room. The Red Axe will show off his army of Chaos Dwarves, but before you can report to the Black Guard, the shaman will put a curse on you causing you to forget it all.

Finishing


Go back to Commander Veldaban. You won't remember any of what had happened, but your instincts will tell you to go to the Laughing Miner pub and have a beer and kebab. Buy a kebab from the store on the east side and a beer from the pub. Then go to the pub. Once you're inside, drink the beer and eat the kebab to begin the final cutscene. You will get drunk and tell a nonsensical story to a bunch of drunken dwarves (including the random event one).

Reward

 * 2 Quest points
 * 5,000 Cooking experience
 * 5,000 Farming experience
 * 2 Dwarven stout(m)

Trivia
Blandebir's name is a play on the words "bland beer".